Here are things that irritate me about the makeup industry, makeup application, makeup trends or just makeup in general. This is meant to be light-hearted, so don’t feel offended if I mention something you truly enjoy. You do you and I do me. No shaming, no shading.
I’m not even sure these opinions are totally unpopular, but let the girl have fun once in a while.
By the way, if you’re into grumpy rants, have a look at my pet peeves, online pet peeves, and mental health pet peeves.
- Matte liquid lipsticks make my mouth look like a dehydrated anus
- I don’t have time for a cut crease at 6 in the morning (or any time of day, for that matter) Who does cut creases on the daily?
- I don’t want to spend 20 minutes on each eye brow to feel like I’m a worth makeup enthusiast.
- Super glittery highlighters make me look like a disco ball with enlarged pores
- Putting highlighter on the tip of my nose makes me look like a middle-aged Tinkerbell.
- Under-eye baking.
- I think the Makeup Revolution Conceal and Define concealer is crap.
- I hate eyeshadow pans that don’t have a standard/circular size and just fuck up your entire magnetic palette symmetry (here’s looking at you, Nathalie)
- Why would anyone want to buy makeup brushes that shed or that are scratchy (I mean Morphe brushes)?
- How do you store double-ended brushes without forgetting about the other side?
- Mini brushes are just too short. I can never find them among my other brushes.
- Being a member of the OCD Club, I have a hard time accepting that my Beauty Blender will never be 100% clean, no matter how hard I rub, scrub and squeeze it.
- That one wet bit of mascara landing on under your eye. Just on that one day your concealer wasn’t creasing.
- Spending 40 minutes blending eyeshadows and thinking eyeliner would be a great addition to that look. You will fuck it up.
- People telling you you’d look better if you didn’t wear so much makeup and, on the odd day you’re not wearing makeup, asking you if you’re under the weather.
- Men who think women look better with less makeup on: we don’t wear makeup for you, you are not the centre of the universe
- Beauty youtubers who do makeup tutorials with a filter on their camera lens and the saturation amped up to the gods.
- Youtubers who just cannot do an eye look without a cut crease/huge falsies/winged eyeliner to “complete this look”
- Sales people who match your foundation by swatching it on your wrist.
- People who don’t know or don’t like John Maclean will never truly understand me.